The final act of the Trump presidency had to be unprecedented. It couldn’t have ended any other way. If it weren’t a pandemic, it would have been a nuclear war. But Trump’s hoax mobile finally ran out of gas. Despite his best effort to find a COVID-19 cure in his real estate manual, not even Jared–fresh off creating Middle East peace in his mind–could fake his way out of this crisis. In a twist of irony for the ages, Trump has to rely on science and the government for a solution.
The Golf Cart King has bludgeoned us with daily reminders about the best stock market rally since cavemen traded stones, and the lowest unemployment rate in 30,000 years. Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before the fall. Prior presidents didn’t pummel us with hourly updates about stocks and job data because they understood the ebb and flow of the economy and indices.
Now his superfans, who have been flying their 401K flag for years as justification for supporting his inexcusable conduct and reckless policies, have seen their 401K savings crater during Trump’s reign. But no amount of Purell could wash our hands of the inaccurate years of gloating we’ve been forced to endure. Ironically, Trump may leave office with a down stock market and the worst unemployment figures in American history.
Trump bears significant responsibility for this crisis. He failed to take sufficient action to protect Americans in January when the WHO notified him. He misled and failed to calm a jittery nation. He failed to prepare government agencies to tackle the crisis and purged the government of competent experts and replaced them with inexperienced loyalists. He failed to mobilize the country to isolate during the critical early days–and still today. He refused to use the Defense Production Act to call upon the private sector to develop critical supplies for our courageous doctors and nurses. His promotion of conspiracy theories caused people to doubt the severity of this threat. And his lack of experience and his continued divisiveness contributed to Congress lingering too long.
Even as thousands of people suffer and die, Trump can’t even escape his prepared notes to comfort the grieving. When a reporter tossed him a softball to show compassion for the sick and worried, he hit a grand slam in the upper deck of Sociopath Stadium. Nothing like a good scolding of a reporter to soothe a frightened nation. If Trump played the board game Clue, it would never end.
Not even Dr. Fauci could cure the irony of this presidency. Trump made a living railing against Obamacare because he doesn’t care if people don’t have health insurance. Now his presidency will likely end with a surge of Obamacare enrollments. The scammer-in-chief and his Fox News acolytes excoriated democratic socialism, and now Trump is about to lead the charge for it at Bone Spur Hill.
If Trump’s administration took more proactive steps to help the poor and middle class, then they wouldn’t need so much assistance during this pandemic. Instead, Trump gifted corporate billionaires tax breaks and they used it to buy back stock. He squandered our money on a wall and a Space Force, ran up massive annual budget deficits and sucked inexperienced investors into the stock market. His policies left us flat-footed for a crisis. And now the man whose companies filed for bankruptcy six times will likely preside over an unprecedented number of bankruptcies.
Trump’s policies have also devastated animals, so it’s only fitting that someone eating an animal–the suspected cause of COVID-19–leads to his downfall. And we knew the virus had to start in China or Mexico–even if it didn’t–because those are his punching bags. But Trump’s gloves fell off last week when he cannonballed into his racist swimming pool one too many times by giving the virus a new name. Sadly, even during a crisis, he’s a racist first, an empath never, and a sociopath always.
Epidemiologists have concluded we could end this crisis in 14 days if Americans could freeze in place at home for two weeks and stay six feet apart from each other. The virus would die out on surfaces, and infected people would either recover or, sadly, not make it. If we had enough test kits, we could also identify asymptomatic people to ensure they’re also quarantined. Why won’t this happen? We don’t have the leadership we need to make it happen. Trump repeatedly said during his campaign that people should vote for him because “What the hell do you have to lose?” Now we know the answer.