Historians will not look favorably upon Donald Trump. His biography will include displays of authoritarianism, an impeachment for cheating to steal an election, a military attack on peaceful protestors, ruthless child-parent separations, and a loathing of people of color, the sick, and the poor. His epitaph will read that he degraded democracy. Not even David McCullough could capture the foolishness and savagery of these four years.

Trump’s legacy will be hundreds of thousands of Americans unnecessarily killed, overwhelmed hospitals, and millions of people unemployed because his ego and gross incompetence prevented him from deferring to medical experts and selecting an experienced cabinet. He chose to protect his stock portfolio and private properties over people’s lives and property. Surrounded by groveling sycophants instead of qualified personnel, Americans paid for his decisions with their lives, jobs, and savings.  

Democratic voters and fed up Republicans donned their Muhammed Ali costumes for Halloween to deliver a final knockout blow as they pummeled the King of Voter Suppression into the ropes. Fresh off his quid pro quo conviction, Trump lashed out at the Twitterverse that nobody would manufacture evidence to support his debunked voter fraud claims. Rudy zipped up his pants to tow the family line, but the victimhood rerun landed with the appeal of a Jar Jar Binks spinoff. Even Trump’s DHS and Republican election officials have confirmed the absence of fraud.

Although America’s divider in chief continues to fight the inevitable, his con game has run out of gas. Without evidence to support his voter fraud claims, Trump will swear himself in on Inauguration Day in front of a crowd of sports stadium human cardboard cutouts. But before the Secret Service drags him out the back door, he will refuse to peacefully transfer power in one last-ditch effort to erode our institutions and stall President-elect Biden’s good-faith effort to unite the country. 

QAnon’s favorite son has handled his defeat without dignity because he has none. Born and raised without coping skills, he has no respect for the democratic process and always puts his interests ahead of the country. But change has already arrived. Without attacking people or heaping attention on himself, President-elect Biden has risen above the fray and approached the coronavirus with calm and normalcy. Americans have collectively sighed with relief.

As the world battles some of its most challenging problems, Trump has been playing golf, watching his favorite FOX News acolytes, firing people he hates, and gaslighting the country. A real American hero. Perhaps for one last hurrah on his Farewell Superspreader Tour, he can revisit the CIA’s Memorial Wall and bemoan how the media mistreats him. A true patriot. 

America’s looter in chief has no morals. He lost the election by an electoral and popular vote landslide. Yet, he continues to fundraise for his pity party and make baseless claims about a stolen election. But the world’s most giant snowflake has run out of options. While he bullies puppets Barr and Pompeo to carry his dictator-stained laundry, and while terrified Republicans in Congress continue to erode democratic norms by putting a collar around their neck and giving Trump the leash, President-elect Biden and Vice President-elect Harris continue their preparations to rescue the nation.

It’s impossible to overstate the significance of this victory. In a second term, Trump would have gone full Duterte. His State Department, Justice Department, and Republican toadies in Congress would have let him run roughshod over the U.S. Constitution. He would have squashed free speech and moved to jail journalists. This win uprooted the seeds of authoritarianism and forced Trump to retreat to the orbit of his bottom feeders, Russian bots, internet trolls, and coronavirus superfans. As he embarks on a new search for President Obama’s birth certificate, Secretary Clinton’s lost emails, and Hunter Biden’s unpaid dry cleaner bills, the country will move on.

It’s a new day in America. We averted a fatal blow to democracy. It’s time for a new reality show based on facts and science and rooted in experience, intelligence, humility, and compassion. It’s time to relegate Donald Trump to the failed-authoritarian trash heap of history. It’s time for America’s most famous failed businessman to face charges for campaign finance violations, tax evasion, real estate fraud, sexual assault, and rape. It’s time to liberate the White House. It’s time to say goodbye.