Trump Shoots Supporter on Fifth Avenue

While visiting New York for a United Nations meeting, President Trump shot a supporter on Fifth Avenue Tuesday. It was the first official murder of Trump’s presidency not counting his assassination of the English language. Trump immediately granted himself a pre-trial pardon.

The woman’s husband said he supported the President’s decision to shoot her. “If President Trump thought she needed to be shot, I trust he did what he thought was best for her,” he explained.

“Honestly, I heard she was a fine person,” Trump said, “but I needed to keep my campaign promise. No matter what I do, people will support me.”

“How can she support you if she’s dead?” a reporter asked.

“You’ll find out. I don’t tell. I’m not like Obama. No president has ever shot more people than me. It’s really something. It’s not about me. It’s a movement. Look at the crowds we’re getting,” Trump added, pointing to a throng of people on a line for Hamilton tickets.

Following the murder, Trump saw a slight uptick in his popularity among his base of support. His overall approval rating jumped to 36% of the country has lost its mind.

4 thoughts on “Trump Shoots Supporter on Fifth Avenue

  1. “Immediately following the murder, press secretary Sarah H. Sanders slammed the press for reporting it, citing their slavish, liberal obsession with actually, umm, reporting stuff the president did.”

  2. Very good example of trump supporters blind stupidity…..but if daffy shot someone it would most likely be a democrat since he doesn’t care nor do his supporters if bomb plots etc are carried out against dems.

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