An Unhappy Life

If we accept a mere tenth of what animal-rights activists are claiming, then modern industrial agriculture might well be the greatest crime in history. When evaluating global happiness, it is wrong to count the happiness only of the upper classes. Perhaps it is also wrong to consider only the happiness of humans. – Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind


Americans make happiness a high priority. Psychologists, social scientists, and economists have studied what leads to it for decades. People often ask each other if they’re happy because they view happiness as a sign of normalcy in our culture. Someone who isn’t happy isn’t perceived as stable. If people sense someone isn’t happy, they aim to find out why they aren’t happy so they can make them happy.

If there’s a vehicle to showcase happiness in the 21st century, it’s social media. Look at my face. Look at me on vacation. Look at my car. Look at my house. Look at my relationship. Look at my phone. Look at me at this concert. Look at me partying. Behold, here I am. Look at me. I’m happy. Or at least I want you to believe I have things. I go to places. I have friends. Look at me. I’m happy.

Sadly, the expression of happiness in the face of others–if it even really is happiness–can make others feel inadequate and depressed that they’re not living a similar life. Humility and candor, rather than show and tell, are more inclusive approaches and would do the world more good. It’s no surprise that research indicates people feel better when they unplug from viewing others’ social media–a sad commentary on its impact.

The pursuit of mass acknowledgment of one’s happiness–often a search for validation–could, however, be a sign of unhappiness for many people. Psychologists have found evidence that what we perceive as narcissism on social media, e.g., the posting of photos of a face by a person to whom the face belongs, could be a sign of a lack of self-confidence, although researchers have sadly also found a rise in extrinsic values, i.e., importance placed on physical appearance and material possessions.

Gone are the days where people keep personal experiences to themselves. I don’t recall when it died, but I suspect barely a tear was shed at humility’s funeral. It should come as no surprise that a narcissist occupies the Oval Office as the threads of his self-obsession aren’t far removed from the fabric of American culture. But why is it that Americans are so determined to show people that they’re having a good time and have things? Does it represent the best we have to offer as a species during our short time on earth? Why is happiness a higher priority than doing good for others?

I don’t believe people should be happy. That declaration only sounds unusual because our culture has conditioned us to obsessively focus on finding happiness. People may have fun and experience happiness in a job, a relationship, or in the company of family and friends, but they should never be filled with happiness because happiness implies contentment.

Who could ever be content in this world except those who only live for themselves and remain oblivious to their surroundings? We should not be content when hundreds of thousands of children under five are dying of preventable malaria every year–a staggering statistic that can’t fully be appreciated unless we watch the children vomiting and gasping for breath. We should not be content when mile-long nets are pulling trillions of fish out of our oceans and decimating marine ecosystems, leaving water deserts in their wake. We should not be content when the natural habitats of wild animals are annihilated to clear land to grow crops to feed farm animals we shouldn’t be eating. Grateful for progress and eager to celebrate victories for causes greater than self-interest? Yes. Happy? No.

People suggest they need to be happy to be productive. No. I’ll address the duplicitous sources that spawned this flawed prescription later in the article. As a result of my lack of satisfaction with the state of the world, I’ve been unhappy for decades, and it never stopped me from leading a purpose-driven life.

The world would be well served if people spent less time focused on making themselves happy and more time helping those in need. Binge-watching mindless television, cheering for people they don’t know to do stuff with balls in stadiums, worshipping self-aggrandizing celebrities, and drinking themselves into oblivion in a cruise ship jacuzzi doesn’t solve the world’s problems. The world would be more humane and just for all of its inhabitants if people more frequently engaged in activities greater than their self-interest. Here are a few options.

People should not be happy when there’s preventable suffering in the world. The happy person’s reply: “But others would want me to be happy.” No. The young girl kidnapped and trafficked doesn’t want people to be happy. The caged hen trembling with fear doesn’t want people to be happy. The journalist tortured in solitary confinement doesn’t want people to be happy. They want people to help. Period. Corporate billionaires want people to believe they should be happy so they can fill their coffers spending money on vacations and material possessions to make them wealthier. It’s a ruse executed so deftly that Shakespeare would cheer.

The idea that we need vacations, for example, was created by the people who profit from them: the airlines, hotels, entertainment industry, and other corporations that reap financial windfalls. They blitz people with ads until they succumb, but nobody needs a vacation to survive. It’s a want in a world in desperate need–a world where the money people spend on vacation could save hundreds of lives. Imagine those in need–the blind, the sick, the trafficked, the poor, the starving, the abused, and the tortured–are standing in front of you when you’re faced with the choice to help them or use that money for a vacation. Would you choose unnecessary leisure for yourself or would you save them? You may not see them, but they’re there. They’re always there. You may not hear their cries for help, but they’re crying. What would you want people to do if you were in their shoes? Indeed, people can take a vacation and serve those in need, but most don’t volunteer, donate, or think critically about how to impact change. They lament the state of the world, but fail to realize they can improve it.

In a purpose-driven life, results matter–not parties, materialism, or self-indulgence. Animals in factory farms, trafficked children, brutally abused and wrongfully convicted people, and birds and marine life choking to death on spilled oil or an algal bloom don’t get vacations. These are problems we can solve if we reset our priorities. This notion only rattles people, if they even entertain it, because self-indulgence is so deeply embedded in our culture.

Every day of a fortunate person’s life, which consists of unlimited food and water, a roof over their head, electricity, access to medical care, freedom, and opportunity, is a vacation. People have been programmed to believe they need more. This belief is as ingrained as the importance of a baby shower, a lavish wedding, birthday celebrations, and Christmas gifts. Homes now serve as storage centers for endless material possessions people don’t need and calendars as countdowns to escape from a life billions of people wish they had.

People shouldn’t allow misguided cultural norms to brainwash them into thinking they need more. People and animals desperately need our help right now. Ziplining in Costa Rica or jet setting in Europe doesn’t help them. Moreover, such junkets are unlikely to affect people in the ways they hoped because science reveals that happiness is determined more by biological wiring than life experiences. Further, removing clutter from our lives and engaging in altruism, for example, have been shown to have a more significant impact on the human condition than self-pursuits.

People are clamoring for change, but they often don’t recognize they are the change; they have the power to impact the causes they care about if they put their voices, time, and money ahead of their self-indulgence. People are bred to be intolerant of inconvenience and discomfort but let others languish in it. People are obsessed with how they look while 40 million people can’t see. People can’t be satisfied with eating food from the ground and trees while 815 million people are starving. People buy a new car every three years while millions walk miles for clean water to drink and flee unthinkable conditions by sea and land, many drowning in oceans and collapsing in deserts in search of freedom. People’s thought process is broken. We can do much better.

If you lived during the Holocaust, would you want to be happy? Would you aim to find ways to be happy while Nazis gassed people in concentration camps? There’s an animal holocaust happening right now. Approximately 25 million pigs, chickens, and turkeys are brutally confined, deprived of everything natural to them, and slaughtered in the United States every day. Imagine the screaming and pain of a single animal. Now multiply that suffering by 25 million every day.

I can never recall being a happy person, I’m not currently a happy person, and I’ll never be a happy person because I equate happiness with contentment. Happiness isn’t my goal in life. My goal is to make the world a more humane place by protecting animals, people, and the planet before my luck runs out. I’m hopeful my suggestions jolt people’s conscience, resonate, and inspire them to maximize their time. The world needs us.

This call to action isn’t directed at the people living selfless lives or the people who balance doing for others and themselves, although there are always opportunities for us to help others more. It’s for the rest–those for whom the pursuit of something other than their self-interest is foreign, even anachronistic. I challenge everyone, as I regularly challenge myself, to think about how you use your days. Our democracy is burning. Suffering abounds. Cries for help are everywhere. The planet is at risk. These are extraordinary times. The status quo won’t suffice. How are you spending your time?

 

23 thoughts on “An Unhappy Life

  1. This is so thoughtfully written. I could not agree with you more. Somewhere we stopped living for the good of the community and started believing the lie that “I” am what matters. Such selfish behavior satisfies the deeply childish desires in our worst natures and does nothing to make us better, to help us to grow, and to tap into that part of our humanity that is still good and that can make a difference in this increasingly degenerate world. I applaud your honesty.

      1. May I have permission to share this article with my environmental science High school students? I have taught for almost 25 years and I have lived that time by the rede, do no harm. A couple years ago, I rescued a lamb our Ag teacher had let get sick and I really thought she was going to die. But my students and I nursed her back to health and then tried to buy her freedom, which we did, but it cost me my job because I went up against the machine of animal agriculture. The word “activist” was tied to my name like some weight meant to drag me down. Through it all, I maintained I did nothing wrong and eventually won a big settlement from the school district and we did save our lamb from slaughter. Through my example my students watched me maintain my clam, follow my heart and keep helping animals. I walked my truth and those who lied lost their teaching certifications. Now we are faced in our district with apathy. Last year another Ag teacher caught a live raccoon and made his student drown it in a 50-gallon barrel while they all watched. He also let them beat an opossum to death with iron bars because it was a nuisance. All of this was done in the name of agriculture. I am still walking my talk and trying to sway the hearts and minds of my students that everything on this planet has as much right to be here as they do. I would like to share this with them.

  2. If we can figure out how to be happy engaging in work to improve the world, we will be more effective. Great joy can be derived from helping others. That, is the truest and most pure form of happiness.

  3. This is a remarkable post. I too am not occupied with happiness. I think people who are end up being disappointed. I’m going to save this. I think it’s wonderful.

  4. If this article resonates with you, you may consider reading Five Lies Our Culture Tells by David Brooks in today’s NYT: https://nyti.ms/2Gnk2kh He emphasizes the need to shift focus from ourselves to helping others. He also wrote a new book called Second Mountain in which he apparently discusses people’s excessive focus on self.

    I’ve read with great interest about people’s devastation over a fire in a building (Notre Dame) the past few days–and the $1 billion in donations that poured in to reconstruct it. Imagine the more pressing problems that could be addressed with that $1 billion. We need a tectonic shift in the order of our priorities.

  5. Thank you for sharing, and for always being a source of support and renewal. This post gives me strength!

  6. Thank you, Andrew. Your writings are always brilliant, illuminating and inspiring. I agree with you, and appreciate you so much for shining a light for others!

  7. Your article is brilliant and very true. I am writing from http://www.gentleworld.org a vegan non-profit organization in Hawaii and NZ. Some of us have been vegan for over 40 years and still going strong. We feel the same way so it is moving to find another soulmate. Let us know if you ever come our way. Thank you. Summer

  8. “Every day of a fortunate person’s life, which consists of unlimited food and water, a roof over their head, electricity, access to medical care, freedom, and opportunity, is a vacation. People have been programmed to believe they need more. ”
    Well said!

Leave a Reply to Varun Deshpande Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s