An Unhappy Life

If we accept a mere tenth of what animal-rights activists are claiming, then modern industrial agriculture might well be the greatest crime in history. When evaluating global happiness, it is wrong to count the happiness only of the upper classes. Perhaps it is also wrong to consider only the happiness of humans. – Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Americans make happiness a high priority. Psychologists, social scientists, and economists have studied what leads to it for decades. People often ask each other if they’re happy because they view happiness as a sign of normalcy in our culture. Someone who is not happy is perceived as unstable. If people sense someone is unhappy, they aim to find out why they are unhappy, so they can make them happy.

Many people use social media as a vehicle to showcase their happiness. Look at my face. Look at me on vacation. Look at my car, my house, and my relationship. Look at me at this game, this concert, and this party. Behold, here I am. Look at me. I am happy. Or at least I want you to believe I have things. I go to places. I have friends.

Sadly, the expression of happiness in the face of others—if it even really is happiness—can make others feel inadequate and depressed that they are not living a similar life. Humility and candor, rather than show and tell, are more inclusive approaches that might do the world more good. It is no surprise that research indicates people feel better when they unplug from viewing others’ social media—a sad commentary on its impact.

The pursuit of acknowledgment of our individual happiness—often a search for validation—could, however, be a sign of unhappiness for many people. Psychologists have found evidence that what we perceive as narcissism on social media, e.g., the posting of photos of a face by a person to whom the face belongs, could be a sign of a lack of self-confidence, although researchers have sadly also found a rise in extrinsic values, i.e., importance placed on physical appearance and material possessions.

Gone are the days when people keep personal experiences to themselves. I do not recall when it died, but I suspect barely a tear was shed at humility’s funeral. It should come as no surprise that a narcissist occupies the Oval Office, as the threads of his self-obsession are not far removed from the fabric of American culture. But why is it that Americans are so determined to show people that they are having a good time? Does it represent the best we have to offer? Why is happiness a higher priority than doing good for others?

We might create a greater society if we focus on doing good as much as we focus on happiness. This suggestion might not resonate with some people because our culture has conditioned us to obsessively focus on finding happiness. Personal happiness is an admirable goal because it allows people to maintain the right frame of mind to do good. But perhaps an awareness of the suffering in the world and the challenges we face might keep everyone’s happiness in check.

People suggest they need to be happy to be productive. Not everyone. As a result of my lack of satisfaction with the state of the world, I have been unhappy for decades, and it never stopped me from leading a purpose-driven and impactful life. On the contrary, it fueled me. People should not be content when there is preventable suffering in the world. The happy person may reply, “But others would want me to be happy.” I do not think so. The young girl kidnapped and trafficked does not want people to be happy. The caged hen trembling with fear does not want people to be happy. The journalist tortured in solitary confinement does not want people to be happy. They want people to help. Corporate billionaires want people to believe they should be happy so they can fill their coffers, spending money on vacations and material possessions to make them wealthier. It is a ruse executed so deftly that Shakespeare would cheer.

The idea that we need vacations, for example, was created by the people who profit from them: the airlines, hotels, the entertainment industry, and other corporations that reap financial windfalls. They blitz people with ads until they succumb, but nobody needs a vacation to survive. It is a want in a world in desperate need—a world where the money people spend on vacation could save hundreds of lives.

In a purpose-driven life, results matter—not parties, materialism, or self-indulgence. Animals in factory farms, trafficked children, brutally abused and wrongfully convicted people, and birds and marine life choking to death on spilled oil or an algal bloom do not get vacations. These are problems we can solve if we reset our priorities. This idea only rattles people because self-indulgence is so deeply embedded in our culture.

Every day of a fortunate person’s life, which consists of unlimited food and water, a roof over their head, electricity, access to medical care, freedom, and opportunity, is a vacation. People have been programmed to believe they need more. This belief is as ingrained as the importance of a baby shower, a lavish wedding, birthday celebrations, and Christmas gifts. Homes now serve as storage centers for endless material possessions people do not need and calendars as countdowns to escape from a life billions of people wish they had.

People should not allow misguided cultural norms to brainwash them into thinking they need more. People and animals desperately need our help. Ziplining in Costa Rica or jet-setting in Europe does not help them. Moreover, such junkets are unlikely to affect people in the ways they hoped because science reveals that happiness is determined more by biological wiring than life experiences. Further, removing clutter from our lives and engaging in altruism, for example, have been shown to have a more significant impact on the human condition than self-pursuits.

People are clamoring for change, but they often do not recognize they have the power to impact the causes they care about if they put their voices, time, and money ahead of unbridled self-indulgence. People are bred to be intolerant of inconvenience and discomfort but let others languish in it. People are obsessed with their appearance, while 40 million people cannot see. People cannot be satisfied with eating food from the ground and trees while 815 million people are starving. People buy a new car every three years while millions walk miles for clean water to drink and flee unthinkable conditions by sea and land, many drowning in oceans and collapsing in deserts in search of freedom. People may benefit from examining their priorities. We can do much better.

Our democracy is burning. Suffering abounds. Cries for help are everywhere. The planet is at risk. These are extraordinary times. The status quo won’t suffice. How are you spending your time?


23 thoughts on “An Unhappy Life

  1. This is so thoughtfully written. I could not agree with you more. Somewhere we stopped living for the good of the community and started believing the lie that “I” am what matters. Such selfish behavior satisfies the deeply childish desires in our worst natures and does nothing to make us better, to help us to grow, and to tap into that part of our humanity that is still good and that can make a difference in this increasingly degenerate world. I applaud your honesty.

      1. May I have permission to share this article with my environmental science High school students? I have taught for almost 25 years and I have lived that time by the rede, do no harm. A couple years ago, I rescued a lamb our Ag teacher had let get sick and I really thought she was going to die. But my students and I nursed her back to health and then tried to buy her freedom, which we did, but it cost me my job because I went up against the machine of animal agriculture. The word “activist” was tied to my name like some weight meant to drag me down. Through it all, I maintained I did nothing wrong and eventually won a big settlement from the school district and we did save our lamb from slaughter. Through my example my students watched me maintain my clam, follow my heart and keep helping animals. I walked my truth and those who lied lost their teaching certifications. Now we are faced in our district with apathy. Last year another Ag teacher caught a live raccoon and made his student drown it in a 50-gallon barrel while they all watched. He also let them beat an opossum to death with iron bars because it was a nuisance. All of this was done in the name of agriculture. I am still walking my talk and trying to sway the hearts and minds of my students that everything on this planet has as much right to be here as they do. I would like to share this with them.

  2. If we can figure out how to be happy engaging in work to improve the world, we will be more effective. Great joy can be derived from helping others. That, is the truest and most pure form of happiness.

  3. You are so right Andrew. I need to get off my butt and do more. And i will. Thank you for this article.

  4. This is a remarkable post. I too am not occupied with happiness. I think people who are end up being disappointed. I’m going to save this. I think it’s wonderful.

  5. If this article resonates with you, you may consider reading Five Lies Our Culture Tells by David Brooks in today’s NYT: He emphasizes the need to shift focus from ourselves to helping others. He also wrote a new book called Second Mountain in which he apparently discusses people’s excessive focus on self.

    I’ve read with great interest about people’s devastation over a fire in a building (Notre Dame) the past few days–and the $1 billion in donations that poured in to reconstruct it. Imagine the more pressing problems that could be addressed with that $1 billion. We need a tectonic shift in the order of our priorities.

  6. Thank you for sharing, and for always being a source of support and renewal. This post gives me strength!

  7. Thank you, Andrew. Your writings are always brilliant, illuminating and inspiring. I agree with you, and appreciate you so much for shining a light for others!

  8. Your article is brilliant and very true. I am writing from a vegan non-profit organization in Hawaii and NZ. Some of us have been vegan for over 40 years and still going strong. We feel the same way so it is moving to find another soulmate. Let us know if you ever come our way. Thank you. Summer

  9. “Every day of a fortunate person’s life, which consists of unlimited food and water, a roof over their head, electricity, access to medical care, freedom, and opportunity, is a vacation. People have been programmed to believe they need more. ”
    Well said!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s