Harlan Crow Defends Charles Manson Night Lights

HIGHLAND PARK, TX—Clarence Thomas housing and travel sponsor Harlan Crow expressed surprise on Sunday when ProPublica reporters questioned his collection of Charles Manson night lights in his Texas home. Best known for his top-shelf Hitler collection, Crow vigorously defended his lights. “I don’t see the big deal,” said Crow. “When I get up at night to use the bathroom, the Charlie Manson night lights remind me that things could be much worse. I could have a serial killer in my house.”

Sensing a backlash, Crow declined to comment on his Timothy McVeigh Lego building set, Osama Bin Laden model airplanes, Jack the Ripper knife set, and Lee Harvey Oswald sniper scope. Justice Thomas said that he has no such items in the house that Crow bought from him and where his mother now resides. “He generously offered to hang a Ku Klux Klan uniform in our living room, but we politely declined,” said Thomas. “The Supreme Court doesn’t have any upcoming cases on my mother or Charles Manson, so none of this matters.”


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