A New York grand jury indicted former President Donald Trump on felony charges on Thursday stemming from alleged hush money payments that he made to avoid tarnishing his otherwise pristine reputation. After a judge issued a warrant for his arrest, Trump fled to Mexico in a white Bronco driven by Steve Bannon. Fox News reported that all charges had been dropped and that Trump entered Mexico for a charity golf tournament.

After several failed attempts to scale the border wall, Trump headed 200 feet north and drove around it. Mexican authorities detained Trump as he crossed the border, at which time they said he claimed political asylum. After Mexican police put him in a van, he lunged at the driver’s clavicle and demanded they take him to the Mexican Capitol. Instead, police transported Trump to a detention center, where he received dinner, which he threw at the wall. Allowed one phone call, Trump contacted Kanye West. He described the exchange on Truth Social as “a perfect call.” West later tweeted that he asked Trump to become his vice presidential running mate.

In a press conference, Mexico’s President Andres Obrador said, “When the United States sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems. They’re rapists, racists, xenophobes, misogynists, anti-Semites, tax cheats, bribers, charity scammers, authoritarians, government coup organizers, and election fraudsters, and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to border guards, and they’re telling us what we’re getting.” Obrador said he would be willing to finish the border wall to keep criminals like Trump out of Mexico but that the United States would have to pay for it.  

Trump reportedly told a border guard that “it’s fantastic, if you think about it, because not even Lincoln could get an indictment.”