How to Elect the Next Trump

Do you ever wish you could do less to impact change? Do facts make you angry? Do you dream of living under authoritarian rule? Here’s how you can help Trump win again or elect the next Trump in 2024:

  • Avoid calling your U.S. senators and U.S. representative to express your views. They’re elected to represent your interests, but it’s better to keep your thoughts private. If you must talk to them, do it on your social media pages where they can’t hear you.
  • Share misinformation. Don’t fact check. If it’s published, assume it’s legit, especially if it’s a meme.
  • Never volunteer. Let others do the work. If your candidate loses, blame people for not doing more to help.
  • Watch endless television, especially toxic news that makes you feel sick. Never match your passion with action.
  • Avoid supporting nonprofits working strategically to uphold democracy, save the planet, combat prejudice, fund education and mental health, and elect women and people of color to Congress. Let them figure it out themselves.
  • Find the companies that still support Trump and his followers in Congress and get on that train! Buy their products even if you don’t need them. Show them that there are no consequences for their actions.
  • Avoid thinking critically about your social media advocacy. Share information to see how many “likes” you can get. Avoid sharing content that inspires people to take meaningful steps.  
  • Ignore the midterm elections—only the presidential election matters.
  • Whenever someone suggests voting, tell them there’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans.
  • Spend as much time as possible making fun of Trump’s name. Call him tRump, Rumpkin, Orange Cheeto, and anything else you hear on an elementary school playground. 
  • Never create your own news; only consume it. 

If we team up to make these strategies our primary focus, we can elect the next Trump or even help Trump win again in 2024!

 

2 thoughts on “How to Elect the Next Trump

  1. I enjoyed the article. Hopefully your readers will detect your streak of sarcasm which is quite apparent!

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