Ted Cruz’s Brain Resigns

Following several high-profile Trump cabinet resignations in the wake of the siege on the United States Capitol, Ted Cruz’s brain announced Friday that it’s also resigning.

“Cruz said that 39% of Americans believe the election was rigged, so he had to protest it. I told him to use me, but he refused,” Cruz’s brain said. “I explained to him that they only believe people voted illegally because a pathological liar told them that for months. I tried to tell him that 86 judges dismissed his fraudulent claims because Trump and his lawyers couldn’t provide any evidence. He didn’t want to hear it.”

Asked if it had any future plans, Cruz’s brain said it’s going to distance itself from Cruz’s mouth. “I’ll probably donate myself to science,” it said. Dr. Azit Nafskan of Johns Hopkins Hospital said they would study the brain to find out why it didn’t work, but “it’s not something we would put in someone else.”

One thought on “Ted Cruz’s Brain Resigns

  1. I liked the way he added his wife in the outrage at the capital so it wasn’t him just saying it because the world knows he is a hypocrite and liar.

    President elect Biden today said let the people decide what happens, this person me calls him a traitor to Texas and America And enabled the virus to run rampant spreading it like they knew what they were doing.
    Since March my life has been in a circle I can’t land and I can’t get the hell out of it. These UnAmerican traitors to Democracy thought I’m sure that all in the capital would be killed and he would stay in power.
    My anger isn’t good unless I use it to fight tranny. And my hero is Andrew!

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