The CDC warned today that an outbreak of Trumpvirus presents a significant threat to the health of the nation. The CDC estimates that at least 70 million Americans have already been infected by the disease.
Symptoms include a sudden inability to separate facts from fiction, an intense focus on a 401K account, a high tolerance level for criminal activity from a president, irrational fits of paranoia, general loathing of people in need, and a disregard for the planet, animals, human health, and the U.S. Constitution. In many cases, infected patients have shown elevated levels of racism.
Americans are encouraged to take the Trumpvirus seriously and to take the necessary precautions to prevent it from spreading. The CDC recommends volunteering for campaigns, registering voters, sharing facts, and traveling on high roads.
A cure isn’t expected until November 3, 2020.