Giuliani Accidentally Leaks “Insurance Policy”

The murder of Jon Bonet Ramsey, who was found dead in her family basement in 1996, has remained unsolved for almost 25 years. Rudy Giuliani accidentally texted a treasure trove of documents to the New York Times on Friday that included classified information on Ramsey and appeared to directly implicate him in the crime. Giuliani appeared on CNN within a few minutes to discuss the text.

“Did I have anything to do with her murder?” asked an incredulous Giuliani. “No, I didn’t. You did, you liar. You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. But I was there that night.”

“Did you kill her?” CNN anchor Chris Cuomo asked.

“Did I kill her? Of course, I did,” Giuliiani replied. “Now if Trump throws me under the bus, there’s really nothing he can do because I go down for that murder first. It’s insurance. Now shut up, you moron. The whole thing is crazy.”

A few minutes later on MSNBC, Giuliani confessed to killing Jimmy Hoffa. He added that he plans to lay low the next few days by camping out at the Ramsey house.

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