The night he saw the play Hamilton, he played Hamilton. When a train station closes, he uses it anyway. He performs at the Comedy Cellar–without any jokes. When he walked into the Met, they hung him on the wall. The pigeons feed him. He enters his fifth floor walk-up from the first floor. He delivered a speech at Washington Square Park to 20,000 people because he was bored. He has a tattoo of people looking at his tattoo. Wherever he leaves his Citi Bike, it becomes a docking station.

He’s the most interesting vegan in New York. He doesn’t always buy Good Catch Tuna, but when he does, the price goes up–way up. Stay vegan, my friends.