NEW YORK–A recent Gallup poll of 1,028 cardiologists revealed that 98% of doctors recommend Americans eat plant-based food to prevent a rise in blood pressure from Donald Trump’s presidential campaign. The recommendation follows a growing consensus in the medical community that eating a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, nuts, beans, and grains is the healthiest way to live.
“We’ve seen a 50% increase in cardiac events during the Republican National Convention,” said Dr. William Gibbons, a respected cardiovascular disease specialist at the Duke University Medical Center. “We believe the nation would be well served to stop eating animals if they want to survive the Trump campaign.”
“I’ve had trouble breathing since he came down that escalator,” said Alex Sherman, a local resident in Cleveland. “Eating more plant-based food has saved my life although Scott Baio may do me in.”
4 thoughts on “Doctors Recommend Vegan Food to Reduce Spike in Nation’s Blood Pressure from Trump Campaign”
Big LOL, Andrew!
Why hasn’t The Onion scooped you up yet?!
Thank you Christine! Very nice compliment.
We could take this the other direction and urge Trump supporters to increase their intake of bad cholesterol and other unhealthy foods. Since they’re already running on high anger levels, their spike in blood pressure’s bound to go over the top, meaning a significant drop-off in old white geezers (sorry to be so redundant) who would be voting in November.
Me? I’m upping my intake of fruit and veggies anyway.
yes, i am so shocked of the ignorance of Drumpf followers and of people who say they care for animals and then ignore the suffering of “animal slaughter and cruel breeding practices.”