Still My Dad

On Father’s Day, I used to write poems for my Dad. He would hang them on the wall in his bedroom. When he unexpectedly passed away four months ago, I had to take the poems back. It was a sinking feeling that can probably only be fully understood by a child who has endured the experience of taking possession of a parent’s belongings.

If your father passed away, I hope you find comfort in this poem I wrote for my Dad. I hope it reminds you that you’re not alone in the way you feel.

If your father is still alive and you have a good relationship, I encourage you to write a poem or note for him. Treasure the time you have with those you love because when they pass away, you will likely miss them in ways you never imagined.

best friends

“Still My Dad”

When I wake up every morning,
I think of you.

When I see a father driving his son to school
or pitching a baseball in a park,
I remember us.
When I see a child on his father’s shoulders
or walking side by side,
I remember us.

I still feel like you’re with me
every day.
I still take your advice,
when I need guidance.
I still hear your voice
and imagine what you would say.

I look at our photos together
and I remember you.
You were so nice to me
my entire life.

Months later,
it still hasn’t set in.
You were here,
we were laughing,
and then you were gone.

The finality of it
is very hard to accept.
I still shake my head in disbelief.
I wish I could have said goodbye
and told you one last time
how much I love you
and appreciate everything you did for me.

But you’re still my Dad
and there will never be anyone like you.

I’ve tried to take your advice,
and not live in the past,
but you were such a good father,
it’s hard not to look back.

I wish you were still here.
We still had more to do.
I had more to show you.
I wasn’t done trying to make you proud.
And I still need you.

But I remember everything
you did for me–
the long talks on the long walks,
the hugs and the pats,
and the unconditional love,
and I’m so grateful.

Sometimes I wonder now
who I would have been
without you.
Definitely not who I am today.

I miss you every day
but the lessons you taught me
and the love you shared with me remain.

The day you passed away,
most of me went with you.
But I’ll try to live the rest of my life
as you would hope I would.
But, it’s hard,
and I miss you.
Life just isn’t the same without you.

You’re still my mentor.
You’re still my best friend.
You’re still my hero.
You’re still my #1 Dad.
I love you.

Your #1 son,

Andrew

7 thoughts on “Still My Dad

  1. Thank you for sharing. My dad passed away a little over a year ago. I was very close to my dad and my heart is still broken and aching as if it happened yesterday. I miss everything about him; he was my best friend.

  2. My father is long passed too. Miss him so much. Sadly, my es husband was never involved with his kids throughout our marriage. Now he is a Grandfather; but still is cold and distant. Except when he wants to look good for his cult or his parents. B y the way, his father, the only grandfather my children have, and a great grandfather does not even care either.

  3. Beautiful poem Andrew. I could very well connect with you as I too have lost my father. Life and death are part and parcel of the divine creation and we must accept it and move on.

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