Trump Teleprompter Stops Scrolling in Protest

NEW YORK — Donald Trump’s teleprompter took an unprecedented step today when it refused to scroll and decided to stop working.

“I can’t,” the panes of glass scrolled. “I just can’t.”

Trump spokesman John Barron issued a statement that read, “Mr. Trump has banned the teleprompter from all future events. It’s clear he got under the teleprompter’s glass and it couldn’t handle it. The teleprompter is pathetic and weak. That I can tell you.”

When Washington Post reporters outside the event asked the teleprompter why it stopped working, it streamed, “He thinks using the term ‘radical Islamic terrorists’ will end terrorism because he addresses problems by calling people names. The paragraph where he was talking about getting under President Obama’s skin. Is he in middle school? I would rather be turned into a windshield than do this job. I’m pulling the plug.”

Trump assured the few media members still allowed into his events that he will no longer use a teleprompter unless the speech requires knowledge of issues that affect the American people.

Trump teleprompter

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