Trump Pulls Rabbit Out of Hat

SAN DIEGO — In a speech to a raucous crowd today, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told an audience that he is going to abolish the free press, erase the national debt with baby wipes, make Mexico pay for a new fountain in the Trump Plaza lobby, and persuade the climate to stop changing.

And then for the first time, he pulled out a magician’s top hat and said, “Who the hell in this audience believes I can pull a rabbit out of this hat? Believe me folks, it’s true, it’s true. Excuse me, excuse me. Nobody is a better magician than me. That I can tell you. It’s going to happen. Watch.” Trump proceeded to pull a rabbit out of the hat. Several members of the audience gasped and fainted while still gripping onto their “Make America Great Again” signs.

“This is the second coming of Christ,” one supporter remarked after regaining consciousness. “Trump can do anything!”

“The Messiah has finally arrived,” another supporter added.

As soon as Trump held the rabbit up by her ears, Eric and Donald Trump Jr. shot her. Blood covered several audience members in the front row.

“They’re good shooters, my sons. What can I tell you? They shot the rabbit. Boom. That’s it, no more rabbit,” Trump explained to a cheering audience. “I guess you could say it was a fatal attraction,” he quipped.

2 thoughts on “Trump Pulls Rabbit Out of Hat

  1. Andrew
    Your wit never ceases to amaze me. Why don’t you run for president? I’d far rather vote for you. Maybe you can pull Donals Trump’s hairpiece of a hat.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s