Why Trump’s Penis Matters

I never imagined I would write an article about Donald Trump’s penis. But, I’ve been thinking about his comments and feel compelled to share my thoughts.

I recently watched a rebroadcast of the 1980 Republican presidential primary debate between Governor Ronald Reagan and Ambassador George Bush. While I disagreed with several of their policy prescriptions, their exchanges reminded me of the intense focus on the issues that used to occupy political campaigns. Since that’s what piques my interest–learning about the diverse problems the world faces and thinking critically about and participating in solutions–I’m glad I lived in that era.

It’s unfortunate our current presidential campaign has devolved into a perverted reality show propped up by a ratings-driven media. The star of this circus would have been better suited to exploit the Elephant Man than audition for a job in the oval office. It’s impossible to imagine such a debasing of the highest office in our country in 1980.

Ambassador Bush: What will you do to prevent nuclear war?

Governor Reagan (pointing to his penis): “If you don’t think I have what it takes to defeat the Soviets, why don’t I take out my johnson and show it to you.” And at the Berlin Wall, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this zipper!”

The Reagan-Bush debate focused exclusively on the issues because there was a time in our country that our citizenry demanded it and our media had journalistic integrity.

Fast forward to Trump’s recent debate remarks that he doesn’t have any problems with his penis (a statement so inappropriate that it makes his pathological lying seem palatable in comparison). Imagine what it must have been like to listen to that comment and not be tuning in for entertainment purposes. What was it like to hear Trump speak of his penis size for the rape victim seeking justice, the unemployed father of four, the wrongly convicted prisoner, the family who lost their house to a hurricane, the student dreaming of affording college, the unemployed veteran without legs, the senior citizen facing impossible prescription drug costs, the ostracized teen contemplating suicide, the woman enduring sexual harassment at work, the small business owner trying to figure out how to stay afloat, or the advocate searching for answers to the plague of animal agriculture? Should they have drawn their inspiration and solutions from Trump’s unwavering belief in the impressiveness of his private parts? Perhaps he forgot he was auditioning to be the leader of the free world and instead thought he was still on Howard Stern degrading women.

As a nation, we face significant challenges–crumbling infrastructure, impending climate destruction, hunger, unemployment, poverty, a myopic education system, an unsustainable food system, corporate corruption fleecing the American people, and much more. Imagine how detached, juvenile, and undeserving of the stage a person must be to take so much time to talk about his own trivial accomplishments–from his steaks to his cologne–in front of millions of people but in particular to discuss something as immature, undisciplined, and confidence-lacking as the size of his penis in the presence of a country so desperate for leadership and solutions.

Donald Trump’s rise is one of the most tragic political events in America’s storied history. Future generations will look back at this time in disbelief that such a crude, uninformed, inexperienced, dishonest, narcissistic, insecure, and reckless bully could ascend to such heights. Sadly, his words don’t reflect as poorly on him as his popularity does on our nation.

Why does Trump’s penis matter? It matters because proving how big it is will be the driving force of his presidency. The fact that he doesn’t have the discipline to take the high road and ignore the question indicates it is possible that, if challenged by a foreign leader, he may even take it out of his pants to show the world. Upon seeing it, critics would argue it is short and thin. He would nod his head in disgust, smirk, threaten a lawsuit, and smugly assure us, “It is big. Believe me, it is big. Excuse me, excuse me, it is huge. That I can tell you.” His alter ego John Miller would likely begin speed dialing reporters soon after to confirm it. Trump’s penis matters because it’s what matters to him and not to the people he aspires to rule. Trump is a protector of his penis, not the people. And if you vote for him, you will be the one caught with your pants down.

8 thoughts on “Why Trump’s Penis Matters

  1. “Trump’s penis matters because it’s what matters to him and not to the people he aspires to rule.”
    Just as rape is about power and dominance so too is the way Trump views his penis as a tool to rule. Rather than lead the American people he would rather dominate them.

  2. The generation Trump is from hid their gayness in the closet. He continually shows latent tendencies through his exploits, since his enthusiasm to prove it otherwise boils over with all his talk and headlines since his college prep days. His sons probably have teeny weenies and want to prove it different by hunting big game. The whole family is irrational, and that’s putting it mildly.

  3. Absolutely hilarious .. And oh so true ! His run for president is ludicrous , ridiculous , and pathetic. He will lose .

    1. I’m concerned that the Donald may not lose because of his crassness that a certain segment relish. I’m not going to Canada though. Fortunately, we do have mid terms and a presidential election every 4 years. President Trump? How awful the sound.

  4. What is the saddest of all to me in this shameful tale is the role of the U.S. media in aggrandizing Trump. The national networks and newspapers have been all Trump, all the time, 24/7 promotion of this carnival barker. The Tydall report showed that the ABC nightly newscast gave Trump 81 minutes to 20 seconds for Bernie Sanders. If Trump had to pay for all the free media he has gotten, it would cost $2.8 billion and counting.

    CBS President Les Moonves said straight up that they do this because Trump draws ratings and makes them a lot of money on advertising. “It may not be good for the country, but it is good for CBS,” he said. That doesn’t even count all the money the mainstream media get from endless political advertising brought on under Citizens United.

    The media no longer serve the interest of the American people. It is time to restore the Fairness Doctrine, and to break up the media empires owned by only six major corporations. The public airwaves should be working for us, not the corporations.

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