Exclusive Interview: Marco Rubio on Animal Rights

MANCHESTER, N.H. — Following a surprise second place finish in Iowa and a debacle of a performance in the most recent Republican presidential debate where he appeared to malfunction, Florida Senator Marco Rubio agreed to a phone interview from his docking station.


Andrew Kirschner (AK):
Thank you for taking my call. Many voters have been disappointed that there has been no mention of animal rights on the campaign trail despite the fact that billions of animals are needlessly and mercilessly confined, exploited, abused, transported, and slaughtered every year in the United States. If elected, what will you do to save the lives of animals?

Marco Rubio (MR): Let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country to make America like the rest of the world.

AK: I think most people would argue the issues affecting animals extend beyond President Obama and include the U.S. Congress, corporations, and the American people. When you say he wants to make America like the rest of the world, I’m sure you also realize problems like animal agriculture predated the Obama presidency. Are you aware that many countries ban many of the commonly accepted industry practices in American animal agriculture?

MR: Let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country to make America like the rest of the world

AK: Yes, I heard you the first two times. Are you concerned that the term “humane” has no legal meaning whatsoever when it comes to the treatment of farmed animals and that millions of consumers are being misled into believing that the animals they’re eating are being treated more humanely when they’re simply paying more money for the same abused animals?

MR: Let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country to make America like the rest of the world.

AK: How can we call America a great country when super trawlers are dropping mile long nets in the ocean and pulling up billions of fish, dolphins, whales, turtles, and sharks and wiping out marine ecosystems when we have an abundance of healthier and more sustainable plant-based food to eat?

MR: Let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country to make America like the rest of the world.

AK: All right Senator, I’m going to have to end the interview. I don’t think this is a good use of time. I’m hanging up.

MR: Let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country to make America like the rest of the world.

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