He sold 30 million copies of his vegan cookbook and he doesn’t cook. When he got pulled over for speeding, he gave the police vegan donuts and they apologized for slowing him down. His mother tried to eat a cheeseburger while she was pregnant with him but he blocked it with his feet. His neighbor told him lions eat zebras so humans can eat chickens and then he released a lion into his neighbor’s living room and the lion ate him.

I don’t always drink walnut milk but when I do, I prefer to soak the walnuts in water for four hours to drain the enzyme inhibitors, rinse them and put them in a blender with raw dates, vanilla extract, and water, and then, while I am riding my bicycle, pour the walnut milk on my cereal. Stay vegan my friends.