TAMPA – A perfectly good-looking sweet potato entered its fifth day on the kitchen counter Thursday after its owner, Sam Martin, purchased it at the grocery store. After seeing it stacked in a pile in the vegetable aisle at Whole Foods last Saturday, Martin decided to buy it because it had a good shape and it’s rich in dietary fiber and beta carotene.

“I read about it in some magazine. I’ve got to eat better and I know it’s good for me,” he told a disinterested cashier pointing at it as he checked out.

When Martin bought the sweet potato, he suspected he might not eat it because there would be more appetizing food in his kitchen such as the cookies he also purchased. He had good intentions; however, he now admits he regrets the purchase. He is deciding if the sweet potato is still good and even if it is, whether or not he wants to eat it or get more cookies.

After searching for roots growing from the sweet potato to use as an excuse for disposing it, simultaneously releasing him from feelings of guilt for wasting money and food, Martin will likely throw it in the garbage even if he doesn’t find any. It will be at least two months before Martin reminds himself that he needs to eat sweet potatoes again and repeats the process. If all else fails, he will justify throwing away a future sweet potato by reminding himself that it takes too long to cook.