ANDREW KIRSCHNER: FOUNDER, CHIEF OPERATING SATIRIST/MUCKRAKER
When I was two years old, my parents got me a dog. They taught me not to pull her tail, ride on her back, or pet her eyeballs. That’s my earliest memory of learning how to be kind to animals.
For my sixth birthday, my parents handed me a glow in the dark lightsaber. I used to turn off the lights in my bedroom and pretend I was fighting the dark side. I believe it was that Jedi training that prepared me to confront the animal agriculture industry.
I was heavily focused on stopping nuclear war by age 10. I wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper with my suggestions. They published it. To this day, I believe my letter had nothing to do with the end of the Cold War.
By high school, I landed my first gig writing a column for a local newspaper that focused on social justice issues. It was called Kirschner’s Korner. I continued the tradition in college and began branching out into animal rights after attending the 1990 March for Animals in D.C.
I focus almost exclusively on animal agriculture because that’s where the most suffering and killing exists in the world. I also occasionally dabble in satire that most people wind up believing no matter how outlandish.
I’m happiest burying myself in the kitchen and cooking, hugging animals, not eating animals, recognizing and supporting people doing good deeds, watching animals in the wild, bringing joy to people’s lives, and bucking cultural norms.
I want to do as much good in the world as I can before I’m gone. When I’m gone, I don’t want anyone feeling sad. I just want people to continue doing good.
Best advice my parents ever gave me: Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it right. Thanks Mom and Dad.